


You Alone

by stopmakingsense



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, but its not horny, but like is that better or worse, iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits big old gay, its just romantic, smite me god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 10:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15532341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopmakingsense/pseuds/stopmakingsense
Summary: Brian and Pat finally get a second alone together at E3.





	You Alone

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY SORRY UGH SORRY PICKS UP ALL OF MY SCATTERED TYPEWRITING PAPERS WITH THIS TERRIBLE TRASH TYPED ON IT  
> I started writing this BEFORE E3 even started, I jumped that gun so hard and then didn't finish it until this much later. Also I am terrible! And please kill me.

Why Brian thought he would have time to hang out with Pat alone was beyond him. He knew E3 would be busy, he knew there would be a lot of work, and he knew there were several other coworkers going with, but somewhere in the back of his mind he had this romantic summer-camp-y vision of the trip that involved a lot of Pat. And it wasn’t like he didn’t know by now how he felt about Pat, he’d been attracted to him long before he worked at Polygon and getting to know him in real life only sent him into a spiraling, abysmal crush. He knew, he just wished it was a little different. It was difficult, being attracted to a coworker, and it felt childish to want something more than a friendship with a person he first became aware of on youtube. But those thoughts and feelings, no matter how hard he tried, weren’t taking the edge off this  _ horribly massive crush.  _ Every time he was around Pat, and especially on stream where hundreds of people were watching, he was terrified he’d let an extra goofy smile slip or stare for too long.

Probably worst of all, though, was that being head over heels was making him read embarrassingly deep into every interaction they had. It was exhausting more than anything, to lie in bed at night and be replaying each thing they had said to each other, searching desperately for evidence that Pat felt the same way. Of course half of his brain had convinced him that there was something between them, that even though Pat didn’t really flash excessive amounts of beaming, doofy smiles at him or go out of his way to talk to him, that there was still something there. The way Pat used his name so often, the way he always seemed comfortable touching him, the way they shared knowing glances, the way they were sometimes so on the same page. Feeling like there could actually be something there was definitely the worst part.

It’s their third night at E3 together. Pat had arrived a day before him and Brian had done nothing but debate texting him to ask how everything was going until he got there. The Airbnb was big enough that everyone had their own bed (which, of course it was, Brian didn’t have any dweeby bed sharing fantasies, ok?) but he ended up in the one room with two beds, which he had to share with Simone since everyone else had gotten there before them. At the moment, Brian, Pat, and Clayton were the only ones still up, all furiously clicking and typing well into the evening. Even with the AC, it was horribly hot inside the house. Several computers all working at the same time combined with the several nerds using them and the heat outside made for a horrible, warm, sweaty cave and Brian needed just five minutes outside where it was hopefully a few degrees cooler.

When he steps out into the backyard, a warm breeze greets him, and it only takes his breath away a little bit. Every wistful, summery song that Brian’s ever had stuck in his head comes to him at the same time and, honestly, he doesn’t really mind it. He doesn’t know how long he’s outside alone, spacing out and staring at the lack of stars in the LA sky, when the sound of the door behind him opening brings him back to reality. He turns his head just as Pat says a quiet “hey”.

“Hey.” He mirrors.

Pat walks over to meet him, arms half-crossed, beer in hand. Brian glances over quickly, doesn’t want to ruin the quiet nighttime vibe they have going on, and sees the breeze shift Pat’s hair against his face. It’s so dreamy it makes him a little angry. Why can’t he just have a normal, chill friendship with his coworker? Why does he have to be such a jittery 20-something about it? Pat elbows him gently, unknowingly snapping him out of his embarrassing thoughts.

“You okay?” He asks, taking a swig of his beer.

“Yeah, I’m good! Just a little out of it.”

Pat laughs a quiet, throaty laugh.

“I bet.”

Another drink of his beer.

“It’s all kind of surreal.”

“Yeah?”

Brian knows Pat says it conversationally, knows very well that it’s a sentiment Pat can understand.

“Yeah. If you had told me a year ago that I’d be on a patio in LA with Patrick Gill I would  _ not  _ have believed you.”

Patrick laughs again and sits down on the ground, legs out in front of him, sets his beer down next to him.

“Sit with me.” he says and gently backhands Brian in the shin to coerce him down.

Of course, Brian complies, doesn’t give a single shit if the ground is dirty. Next to him, Pat runs a hand through his hair and Brian refuses to let himself look. It was a game he was always playing, to not let himself stare. He leans back on his hands and closes his eyes and tries to enjoy the moment for once. That sentiment is entirely short lived, though.

“I like you.” He hears Pat say next to him.

His heart stammers in his chest, but he keeps his eyes shut and tries not to bodily react.

“That’s good, we have to work together like every day.” Brian replies, playing it way cooler than he feels.

“I’m sorry, that was dumb. I meant to say I want to like make out with you, and hold hands, and all that other, nicer stuff. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m drunk? So I'm sorry. Or maybe this California air is poisoning me.” Pat is snickering nervously and shaking his head and Brian realizes his eyes have snapped open and that he’s staring wide-eyed.

To say he was stunned into silence would be an understatement, he’s pretty sure he’s had a life-ending heart attack and is currently having an out of body experience.

“Oh man, that was a _stupid_ , shitty idea, holy shit.” Pat is outright laughing now, lowering himself to lie on his back and covering his eyes with a forearm.

Brian isn’t sure what comes over him then. He feels like fleeing, like running out the back gate and down the road, but instead he’s twisting his body, knocking over the rest of Pat’s mostly finished beer and resting forward on his palms to loom over him.

“Hey-”

Brian cuts himself off because he isn’t actually sure what he was about to say, but it’s enough to get Pat to uncover his face, glasses askew and hair a mess. He reaches down and fixes Pat’s glasses for him, probably slowly and probably shakily. The smile that spreads across Pat’s face is nearly a grimace, and it’s slightly crooked as usual. There appears to be tears trying to well up in his eyes for some reason and Brian has to grimace-smile back to stop his eyes from following suit. He takes it for what he can, looks back and forth between Patrick's eyes like he might forget what this moment was like when he wakes up tomorrow. He wants to remember it forever, how Pat's t-shirt collar is a little crooked on his collarbones, how his hair has fallen around his head perfectly and effortlessly, how it seems like Pat is looking at Brian and trying to memorize the moment in just the same way.

“This is so dumb!” Pat barks out.

Brian laughs and grins outright.

“Yeah, it is dumb.”

Pat reaches up gracelessly to pull him down by the shoulders, meets him sort of halfway, and they share a ridiculous and clumsy and inappropriate and totally ideal kiss.


End file.
